I think we all have a tendency to want to be the one who gets noticed. I mean, let's be honest with ourselves. We want to be the one that gets asked to dance, that gets asked on a date, that gets picked for the team, that gets to play the solo. We want to be the one that people know (even if we don't want all of the trouble that comes along with it). We want to stand from the crowd.
So, in some way we tend to struggle when others get the press, get the accolades, and get rewarded for doing things we want to get noticed for.
Recently, I was reading my friend Jonathan's blog and learned that he was selected as one of 10 artists on a list of "best Christian Rock" songs in the New York Times! Can you believe it? Someone I know is in the New York Times! I should be thrilled (and I am) and yet a little part of me says, "man I wish that was me" ... and I hate that little part of me. I really do. I don't want to envy others, and yet it's in my gut that I do.
A few years ago a friend of mine was featured in (I think it was) Time magazine because she was part of a group of single people who watched out for one another. This friend is one of those people that "happens" to run into all kinds of famous people, gets picked for prestigious experiences, and knows everyone. I keep wishing there was one thing I could do that would top her.
A few years ago my wife was invited to submit an article for the Lutheran magazine. I was proud of her being selected and thought she wrote a great piece. I was excited when the magazine sent a photographer to take pictures of the band. I was thrilled to see that the cover picture of that month's magazine featured the hands of our guitarist, the feature picture for the series of articles had a picture of our lead singer, and my wife's picture was next to her writing, but I, the lowly drummer, was left out.
I know, we're not supposed to get down about such things, but we do. It's our nature ... at least it's my nature. I tell people I don't really care (which, in the big picture is true ... I really don't need the accolades to be a complete person ... nor do any of these people I've listed above) still I want to be the one who gets noticed, who wins, who gets selected.
I'm sure in my life there have been times when I have been selected over others and I've just seen those moments as me "getting what I deserved." I'm sure there are people who look at me now and think "he's got it all, I wish I were in his shoes." And I have to say, I'm quite happy with my life. I'm happy being the guy who knows all of the people who are getting the accolades. I really am.
Still, I think of a song that Duey Jolivette wrote years ago, a song that is sappy, cheesy, and whatever else, but nonetheless a song that sticks with me. A song that simply states, "my part of the story may be small, my part of the story may not have the curtain call, but when the story's done, I know there is one, who loves me as I am." I think of that lyric often (as a matter of fact, I blogged about it about this time last year ... must be something about Springtime) and when I think of it, I am reminded that the One who matters has chosen me.
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