Thursday, June 5, 2014

In the Face of Tragedy, There Are No Easy Answers

Once again the headlines of the national news have been overtaken by events that defy explanation. When I first saw the story break on our local news Saturday night, I knew we were in for the long haul and that the national media would be covering several angles of the story of two 12-year-old girls who stabbed their 12-year-old "friend."

Serving as a pastor in a congregation not far from where the crime was committed and knowing that families from our church have children in the same school as the victim and the alleged attackers, I have been keeping an eye on the story. Well, let's be honest, because I occasionally turn on the news and look at a newspaper I have little choice in whether I hear updates on the story, because it has gripped our community. And it should.

As I listen to the stories and see how various media outlets share the details of this tragic event, I find myself with a certain angst. As one who holds a Bachelor's Degree in Mass Communication and worked in the Media industry for years, I understand that the media have a responsibility to tell the story. I understand the media have a duty to grab our attention. I understand that the media want you to turn to them versus their competitor as your "source." But I have to admit I'm sickened by some of the images that were chosen - like this one that was used to draw attention to the story on a local TV Station Facebook page. I have asked for years why the Media must sensationalize stories that have so many layers to them and are easily misunderstood. Why must the media serve to raise the fear when our own natural instincts provide enough?

Then I watch and listen to the public response to an incident like this stabbing and I listen to scared parents and community members who are trying to find answers to their questions. And, yes, it is only natural that we want to have our questions answered, but I don't think there are simple, easy, or sufficient answers when we are faced with a story of a 12-year-old girl being stabbed by her 12-year-old friends.

It's easy to blame the media (internet, movies, magazines, books). It's easy to blame parents. It's easy to blame society. It's easy to blame mental illness (which in this case to the best of my knowledge has not been evidenced in either of the suspects). It's easy to blame access to the weapon. The list goes on and we try to find an answer to why an event like this would take place.

I think the reality is that there are no easy answers. It could be a combination of the factors above or it could be none of them. Honestly we will never know and we will be left with more questions than answers.

I listened yesterday as a local radio talk show host raised the question of culpability of the father of one of the suspects who apparently was aware of his daughter's interest in the website that is supposed to have fueled the idea for the two girls to stab their friend. I listened as callers offered advice of "what the father should have done" or "what the father could have done" or "since the father knew he should be held to the same standard as the girls" and my thought was "how do we know the father didn't try to do these things that you listeners have suggested, have you asked him?"

I can't imagine being the parent of the suspects or the victim. I imagine there have been many sleepless nights and many questions - I doubt there have been many sufficient answers. I know that isn't very gratifying, but then what is gratifying about senseless violence? What is gratifying about innocence lost?

The truth is that we live in a broken world. We try our best as parents and community members to raise our children well, but sometimes our best isn't enough. Teachers try their best to influence their students to make good choices and learn from the horrors of the past, but sometimes the lessons go unlearned. Pastors and church members try to share the message of the good news of the Gospel in hopes that we provide an alternative to the lies of a broken world, but often our message is viewed as out-of-touch with reality. Does this mean that we stop trying? By no means.

We will always be left with tragedy in our midst. We will always be left with questions that have no answers. Our choice is whether we try to mask that pain with blame and conceit of easy answers or whether we are willing to cry with those who are hurt and seek to unpeel the many layers of the situation.