Taking My Ball and Going Home…

We all have heard the phrase spoken. Generally dealing with someone who is acting “childish” around an issue. Maybe we ourselves at one time or another have done it (I have vague memories of doing this, or something like it when I was young – my brother might have memories of it happening on multiple occasions).

“I’m taking my ball and going home” usually ends with a pout, a lower lip extended, and maybe even an audible “humph.” 

As people get older I think the tell-tale signs after the phrase tend to go away, maybe even the phrase itself goes away, but the sentiment behind the phrase continues to be there.  And the fact remains that what it really is about is two people having a disagreement about something and one person deciding that rather than continue to talk about the issue -or admit they might be wrong or admit they are in the minority (even if they are right) or arrive at a place where the two people agree to disagree - that they will end the argument by walking away. Or in the case of the “game” metaphor – make everyone else stop playing because the ball has been taken and the game must cease.

Welcome to the polarized climate of America these days.  I think the current Presidential race only amplifies what is an underlying attitude of Americans.

I watch Facebook in the wake of the Presidential and Vice-Presidential debates and I see people firmly digging their heels in on their side and being unwilling to listen to conversation from the other side.  I see people who when you try to engage in conversation about their perspective simply clam up and tell you how stupid you are to not see their side of the issue.  I have watched adults who rather than engage in conversation about issues they don’t agree with get up and walk out of a room.  To me this is nothing more than taking their ball and going home. And I think this might be the worst thing facing America.

I listen to a variety of talk radio shows, many of which are hosted by people who hold political views I don’t agree with.  Part of the reason I do this is to sharpen my own understanding of what I myself believe.  When I hear someone say something that doesn’t ring true for me, I ask myself “why doesn’t that ring true?” and I then list my arguments against it.  Unfortunately many of these radio talk show hosts are such bullies that they won’t let anyone who disagrees with them engage in conversation, they simply shut them down and tell them they are wrong (or worse).  They change the direction of the conversation in such a way that those who disagree with them simply can’t make a point – and this causes those who listen to these shows to think that the host is always right. Often the hosts themselves will claim a “victory” over the caller, but I think when the hosts do this to callers they are taking their ball and going home (if they actually left the airwaves it wouldn’t be looked upon favorably by their advertisers).

No doubt if you read much news you’ve heard about Florida resort owner David Siegel (wonder if there’s any relation to Bugsy Siegel, ha!) and his letter to employees which essential says that if Obama wins the election that he will be forced to lay people off due to the increased taxes that he is expecting to pay.  I read the letter. I think Siegel makes some very good points, but I question the conclusion that he comes to.  Does he really have to shrink his business?  Is there not another way to respond to the stress he is obviously feeling working 7 days a week 365 days a year? If I worked the kind of hours Siegel claims to work, I would want to retire too, but not because of policies of a particular government leader.  I would wonder why I’m killing myself over a business when there are other interests in my life – but I’m not David Siegel, I’m not going to tell him how to live his life.  I empathize with his position, but I think his conclusion is nothing more than deciding that he’s tired of playing the game of business in America because instead of winning in a landslide, the game is close and his strategy has to change to keep him from falling behind or losing.  His conclusion is that the only change he needs to make in his strategy is to take his ball and go home (or to the Bahamas), but I think there could be other options (though I admit, I could be wrong since I don’t know the first thing about the resort industry).

So, why would I take the time to share these thoughts?  It’s because I’m tired.  I’m tired of people who rather than doing the hard work of engaging with those that we disagree with in civil discourse would rather label and blame the other and quit playing the game.  I’m tired of people saying “I can’t succeed because –insert person from ‘other’ group here- is preventing me from succeeding.”

In the Gospel lesson from which I preached this last week, Mark 10:17-31, Jesus tells the rich man “sell all you have and follow me”. My sermon talked about how we all have some kind of “riches” we aren’t willing to give up – our ethnic heritage, our denominational affiliations, our theology, our ideology, whatever it is.  These get in the way of us being able to be human beings together and work together in the world. YES these are important – they shape us and inform who we are as people and how we react to the world around us, but they are NOT the only reason we exist and the only way by which we should be identified in the world.  And they certainly shouldn’t be classifications that keep us from relating with others.

As a Christian, I believe that God created all that is in this world and called it GOOD.  I also believe that God created human beings Imago Dei (in the image of God).  That means (and this is hard to admit sometimes) that the radical conservative AND the radical liberal AND everyone in between are all made in God’s image! Maybe this is what was meant when God told Moses “I am”

So, rather than taking our ball and going home can we be willing to stay for the conversation?  And when decisions are made that we don’t agree with can we move forward together rather than waiting for things to fall apart so we can say “I told you so.”  Because if anyone is going to tell us that, it should be God.  And I think we can all agree on one point … God is God and we are not God!