Inside the mind of a Pastor

This morning while I was worshipping I was thinking that it would be really wonderful for members of the church (and general public) to get a glimpse into the thought process that goes on in my mind in the midst of worship.  This thought hit me because there were a number of profound thoughts that came about but then left about as quickly as they showed up.

Worship at Gloria Dei starts with this wonderful tradition of the choir singing from the hallway just outside our sanctuary (since the space is small it works – for those in larger congregations it might not work as well).  This is a most unique time for me because it usually comes as a moment of quiet contemplation right on the heels of a lot of laughter and casual conversation with folks arriving for worship.  This moment helps to focus my mind as I begin to consider what is about to happen.  Sometimes the particular chorus that is sung brings thoughts to my mind about what I’m about to say or do – other times it is just a moment of peace before the “storm”.

When I enter the worship space a million thoughts rattle through my brain, what page are we on, is everyone here, hope the choir gets seated without incident, did I turn off the toaster oven this morning?  I’m sure these are the same thoughts that go through people’s minds as they sit in the pew were I to interview them.

What strikes me is that in any given morning a line to a hymn or a phrase from a prayer or scripture may strike me in a particularly meaningful way.  These are the moments that I really wish the congregation had a window into my brain – obviously these are very wise statements that need to be shared, but usually by the end of the prayer, hymn, or scripture reading my brain has moved on to something else – so maybe it’s not as important as I thought.  Or maybe it’s the first of several times I will think that thought and I will remember later – at a more appropriate time – the thought and share it with people.

Yes, there are moments I wish people could know my thoughts.  Then I am reminded that God knows my every thought and maybe it is important that these thoughts stay in my brain and between me and God.  Maybe it is our conversation in the midst of worship meant just for me.  Hmmm ….