Well, the summer is progressing rather rapidly. It's hard to believe that we are in the second half of August already. I've spent the last 8 weeks at Napa State Hospital enjoying a variety of experiences and learning an awful lot about myself in the process. My most recent learning experience is really something that I've been thinking about for most of the summer. It's the simple concept that is enclosed in the title of this blog, get to know me before you judge me.
The idea started back in the fall when my wife experienced Berkeley's "Critical Mass" when she was driving our Chevy Trailblazer through the city and was unable to proceed through an intersection because 50 bicyclists militantly took over the intersection yelling "park your car and ride a bike" and her response was, "I can't very well ride my bike 40 miles each day to where I work."
It seems like a simple and obvious comment, but the reality is that we don't practice it, any of us. I admit that I might be one of the worst offenders of this concept, but it is something that I'm working on. When I commute the 38 miles from Berkeley to Napa I find plenty of drivers that bring out my rage and my judgement of "you don't know how to drive!" But what do I know? Maybe if I got to understand who they are and what their issues are I would not curse them out for driving 55 mph in the left lane of the 65 mph freeway.
The reality of the statement however is this, we tend to assume we know about people from just seeing them. In other words, we judge the book by its cover. We have preconceived notions about people, how they should act and what they should do, because of limited information that we have about them.
Where this really came home for me was last week when I was talking with one of the individuals at Napa State, we were talking about his acclimating to Napa State and in the conversation he shared with me that he is working on his anti-relapse plan. In that discussion he shared how he prays regularly for his victims, he prays that God will heal them and allow them to live a "normal" life and be able to get beyond the fact that he sexually abused them.
I could sense in our conversation that this was a man who was remorseful for what he had done and was willing to pay his price to society. But, I sensed that there was more going on. What I sensed was his need for reassurance that God loves him and forgives him for what he did. At that point, I realized what Christ's love is really about ...
Christ calls us to look into the eyes of someone who sexually molested his nieces and say, "God forgives you and God Loves you. And because God loves you, I love you." It's not easy, but it's what we are called to do, not to judge people, but to love them.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Can't we all just get along?
In combination between my summer at Napa State Hospital and my recent reading of my friend Jonathan's blog I have something to say to the world!
Why can't we all just get along?
It seems to me that we live in a society that is doing everything it can to separate itself and divide itself and find more and more excuses to say, "this is why I'm not like you." Even in my devotion this morning, the topic surrounded this idea of how we have this tendency to find ways to exclude the people around us.
Here's an example from my week at Napa State Hospital. I wear a badge that clearly identifies me as a "Chaplain Intern" so often the first question that I get when I talk to people is, "are you from the Protestant or Catholic chapel?" (I think they assume I'm not Jewish for a multitude of reasons). I always politely answer their question, but lately I have learned there is a follow-up quesiton that comes, "So, what's the difference between Protestants and Catholics?"
My answer has quickly become, "I prefer to focus on how we're similar rather than how we're different, afterall God doesn't care what we call our faith tradition." In most cases that will make the questioner say, "you make a good point" and that will be the end of that line of questioning.
I don't think we even know we're doing it, but we're asking quesitons like this to establish whether or not someone fits our "mold" and is similar enough to us for us to spend time with them. The darkly comedic (I can't use funny, though that was my first thought of a word to use) thing about this is that if we are the one being excluded, we get up in arms and chant "that's not fair, you shouldn't exclude me!" But too often we turn right around and do it to others.
I don't recall Jesus ever separating people into categories. When he was teaching and someone asked a question he didn't say, "now, you're a Levite, right? I can't answer that question for you." Nor did Jesus say, "I'll feed the 5000 as long as there are no Pharisees or tax collectors in the group." It sounds silly, but that's what we do.
Yes, there are things that make us different, but shouldn't we celebrate our diversity? Yes, we have similarities that make instant connections with some, but does that mean we will never get along with others? I even recall some guy named Paul who said something like, "there is no distinction any longer" (my paraphrase)
Why can't we all just get along?
It seems to me that we live in a society that is doing everything it can to separate itself and divide itself and find more and more excuses to say, "this is why I'm not like you." Even in my devotion this morning, the topic surrounded this idea of how we have this tendency to find ways to exclude the people around us.
Here's an example from my week at Napa State Hospital. I wear a badge that clearly identifies me as a "Chaplain Intern" so often the first question that I get when I talk to people is, "are you from the Protestant or Catholic chapel?" (I think they assume I'm not Jewish for a multitude of reasons). I always politely answer their question, but lately I have learned there is a follow-up quesiton that comes, "So, what's the difference between Protestants and Catholics?"
My answer has quickly become, "I prefer to focus on how we're similar rather than how we're different, afterall God doesn't care what we call our faith tradition." In most cases that will make the questioner say, "you make a good point" and that will be the end of that line of questioning.
I don't think we even know we're doing it, but we're asking quesitons like this to establish whether or not someone fits our "mold" and is similar enough to us for us to spend time with them. The darkly comedic (I can't use funny, though that was my first thought of a word to use) thing about this is that if we are the one being excluded, we get up in arms and chant "that's not fair, you shouldn't exclude me!" But too often we turn right around and do it to others.
I don't recall Jesus ever separating people into categories. When he was teaching and someone asked a question he didn't say, "now, you're a Levite, right? I can't answer that question for you." Nor did Jesus say, "I'll feed the 5000 as long as there are no Pharisees or tax collectors in the group." It sounds silly, but that's what we do.
Yes, there are things that make us different, but shouldn't we celebrate our diversity? Yes, we have similarities that make instant connections with some, but does that mean we will never get along with others? I even recall some guy named Paul who said something like, "there is no distinction any longer" (my paraphrase)
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